 |
Exploring boundaries as They Apply to Self Esteem For Women
The topic of self esteem for women is a complicated one! I really like the title of Lisa Martin's article on self esteem for women. As the "other half" of the species, we women often face very differnt forms of stress related to our role in life as seen from a cultural perspective. In other words, we can often get the lion's share of the stress load in certain areas of life.
I hope you enjoy Lisa's article below. I have included her information at the bottom of the article as required for reproduction. ARTICLE: ______________________________________________________________ Stop Putting Up With Stuff By Lisa Martin Someone interrupts you while you are speaking. Your child raises his voice at you. A person speaks to you in a way you find offensive. Other people take credit for your ideas. You keep working longer and longer hours at work. Your family is constantly late coming to the dinner table. If you've experienced any of these scenarios, then it is time to stop putting up with stuff. It's time to strengthen your boundaries. Boundaries are imaginary lines that surround and protect you and your goals from others. Anything that annoys you or makes you upset is often a crossed boundary. When your boundaries are weak, it may feel as if people are taking advantage of you or not respecting you. These feelings can often be damaging to one's self-esteem. They can also cause unneeded anxiety, stress and resentment. When you take the time to define and strengthen your boundaries, at home and at work, you will find yourself in a generally happier and calmer state. Determining how others may interact with you, sticking to clear work hours and deciding your limits are all boundaries that will keep negative influences out of your way. Keep in mind boundaries are invisible. To effectively enforce your boundaries they must be communicated to those around you Communicate Boundaries Gracefully This seven-step process, keyed to the acronym RESPECT works every time. When you are communicating your boundaries, ensure you start the conversation with your voice devoid of any emotion. The tone of voice you use should be similar to how you sound when making a comment on the weather -- calm and confident. R – Recognize your boundaries are being crossed. Stop others as they start to cross the line. "Excuse me." E – Educate others that they are violating your boundary. "Do you realize you are yelling at me?" S – Stop. Request that others stop. "I’d like you to stop yelling at me." P – Promote. Tell others how your limits can be respected. "Please speak to me calmly.” E - Embrace others for cooperating. "Thank you for respecting my wishes." If they are not cooperative, add these last steps. This very rarely happens. In most cases, people change their behavior after step two. C – Command that they stop “I insist that you stop raiding your voice to me.” If nothing changes, then call it quits. T – Take off. Leave the situation. “I can’t have this conversation while you are yelling at me. I am going to leave the room. Let’s talk about this when we are not as upset.” In some cases, people won't respect your boundaries even after you ask them to. But remember you are no longer putting up with anything from anyone so you might have to walk away from some individuals and situations. The only way to truly start taking better care of yourself is to let go of things that don't work for you. Lisa Martin is a certified coach who inspires working mothers to achieve success that’s balanced. Author of Briefcase Moms: 10 Proven Practices to Balance Working Mothers’ Lives, Lisa is a sought-after expert and speaker on work-life balance issues. Known for her very personal and practical approach, Lisa coaches working mothers to know what they want and get what they want. With 20 years of entrepreneurial and corporate experience, Lisa is also the founder and president of The Briefcase Moms Group – a work-life coaching and training company that helps organizations attract, engage and retain working mothers. A mother herself, Lisa’s powerful presentations and programs have helped thousands of women define success and balance on their own terms.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_Martin I'm sure you can all relate to some of these circumstances Lisa mentions, I know I can. We are constantly pressed by people trying our boundaries, testing us and must learn a healthy way to draw the line. Self esteem for women is an overlooked and undercultivate resource to say the least.
|
